Love Thru Postcards

People neve change,

no matter how long you grow your hair nor how short you cut it,

change styles or the way you paint your face.

Its still doesnt cover up you.

And some people just dont seem to change.

Bad habits are still there,

Lies are still told,

And you are still you.

silly of me to think you could ever change.

come check out my attpemt to improve my photography skills.

<33

http://www.flickr.com/photos/cristalcalifornia/

Where are you Ginsberg?

Your voice alone can woe me,

Your words are just more to consume,

I don’t know you.

Before this I centrally would have never heard you,

Ginsberg, I’m enchanted by you,

You speak of sex, lust, and weed,

That’s all I need.

You don’t know me,

Yet you feel what I feel,

Lost in a world so terribly big.

The second hand smoker.

The bi-stander,

The on looker.

I’m not a fighter and a cowardly lover,

You Ginsberg speak the truth.

 Your words of honest bright eyes,

I wish to see your eyes,

In this world of pure text, and hate,

What would you say?

What would you write?

Would you write?

Lust is at it’s peak here,

Where Mother Nature is always angry,

Casting out hands of disaster.

Ginsberg was this your muse?

The world of unknowns and predictable,

The love of pain,

America of lies,

Consumers of sex, lust, and weed.

We haven’t changed,

We haven’t learned,

I’m stuck just as you,

A war to my left, my people to the south,

How do we stop it?

How do you move on?

More weed, poetry, and coffee?

For I sit in this café and see nothing more,

Couples of disaster,

Who look into each other’s eyes,

And see right through each other.

Girls of ambitions of rising against the machine,

But to shy to order more sugar.

Men who are boys and hold cigarettes,

But never blow smoke.

They’re a joke,

The words they tell are a joke,

Where are the Ginsberg’s?

Why is there no truth?

Pressure and gravity working against us,

Our art is died,

Squished by the men with the bullets,

Those who seek fame rather history,

Our America was yours, still the same to me,

No difference,

Only that your gone.

So I’ll drink my tea,

Hoping you would appear at this empty seat,

I’d talk to you of today,

How little it is,

The shit that I was told.

I imagine you,

Inhale, your exhale,

Your voice that would intoxicate my ears,

For if you speak of pain I feel,

Of lost I mourn,

Of love I fall,

Of America I loath,

Of you I dream.

Ginsberg you do this to me

Your verses, words, and punctuation,

Here it is for you,

Admire, truth, and honesty,

Just bring the weed.

I write stories. I dont tend to think about what i write, it just kind of spills on to the pages. Here is the truth, i dont like sadness, but somtimes it just tends to sneak up on. Postivety and happiness is what i like to stick by. But just at times it tends to fail. I write personal. SO if you read my blog, or my collections of my work, know that its all very personal. Also know that sometimes none if it is even true. I like to write thru others eyes, to put myself in others shoes. I also tend to write of heartbreak, and love. I love to love, but always to tend be dissaponited in other people. But i dont let these things bother me. I write to forgive, to learn, to move on. I write to feel. This is somthing i need to write for along time. I love someone who DOESNT love me. I also have PRETENED to love somone. I sometimes cant stand my friends. I dream of being in a band. I feel adopted. I like this boy, who makes me weak in the knees…i also think he could what i need. Im scared of growing up. And most of all i have no idea what I am going to do with my life…so here it is the truth. Or could this be a an entire Post of Lies and Bullshit.

…Your the reader…you chose.

Is the new CD to bw relesed by an amazing band known as @piercetheveil!!! Im sooo looking forwarded for this!!! This band kicks sooommme major ass.

“whats so good about picking up the pieces..and baby what if i cant forget you….whats so good about picking up the pieces…what if i dont even want too.”

-caraphernelia

“I’d rather be dead
don’t rain on my parade
it’s gonna glow in the dark
I like it better when you can’t keep warm
don’t ruin a perfect thing
the boy on the blue moon hears a nightmare in his head
I’ll bet you money as you’re running to the bathroom
you barely started drinking but your beauty never stopped you
you died in California by the sulfur and the sea
I guess I never should have loved you
but I do forever because you loved me
and I break my glasses as I fall in the street
if you were gonna leave this world how could it be without me
now it’s all over my tongue and still it has no taste
because without you there is no me”

-The Boy Who Could Fly

Its been pretty crazy these past weeks. With senior year wrapping up and all. Prom is this saturday and wel..IM PRETTY EXCITED! Tho it was one of the stressfull things i have ever encounteered. That may some lame and stupid..and well it is. I dont like school dances..never gone to any. So i guess i just wanted it to be extra special. Plus ive seen pretty in pink way to many times!! But even after\ the scare of my date wanting to wear a kilt..YEAH A KILT! He has agreed to wear pants and cover himself up. The most important thing, is my mom’s surgery. Its scary to see someone you think is invencible go under the knife. I still think nothing can touch her, that no evil will ever touch her….My mommy. I love her more then life its self. To think she will indear somthing that i have no control over. Somthing that can cause her pain and discomfort. Its hard.But she is strong i know. She also has all of us, her family. Praying, hoping, and taking over the hosptails waiting room. Thought id explain my lack of effort. I will post some more writing soon! I PROMISE!! even some of my photography!!..if your lucky…who ever you are.

CA

One of my dear friends is turning 18 in about 30 min from now. And well i just relized, soon i will follow. Im stoked but at the same time im scared shit less. All my friends are mostly 18 by now. But i guess now that its his birthday, i cant help to think we kinda grew togther. We dealt with everything togther. We arent always so close. and not always the nicest people to eachother. But we get eachother, and we got eachothers back. We had a past, but im also very happy that we have a differnt present. Who knows what person i would be if we never stayed friends. I also come to relize i dont need to keep telling him what to do. He sees it as i dont care, but the truth is  dont need to anymore. He has grown so much smarter, as well as grown to carry himself with respect and good humor. Im proud of him. Im also proud to say, he has control of his life, even if he doesnt see it that way. Im just woundering if im the only one freaking out about being 18. I hate growing up. I still act like a child, and spend way to much time watch Disney movies. I have an obession with hello kitty, talk way to loud, and miss my mom when i get sick. I’m also really scared of knowing now that every dessicon and every chocie i make is now on me. I cant blame anyone else. Here on out its me. From my degree to what school i will attend. San Deigo or San Fransico. Yet the mystery of it all thrills me. I cant wait to explore the world, travel, and maybe even hang with some kick ass bands. Its a new chapter in my life and many others..and hopefully its a good one. No one likes a BLAH book.

its true growing up is scary shit.